Suffering is hard. We like to be the comforters, not the ones being comforted. If we are being comforted, then we are in some kind of pain. Emotional, physical – and to all different degrees.
We moved at the end of August and a few days later I felt a pain in my back while I was in the bathroom. It dropped me to my knees. It was instant. For the next 10 days or so I could mostly not walk – mostly crawling and lying in bed with a heat pad. In the night I would wake up screaming with back spasms (like cramps). My poor wife had to endure this… It was excruciating. I’m still not 100%, but made it to church yesterday. I have gone out twice in two weeks. Yesterday was a good day though, and a good night sleep.
I finally did go to Emergency and get an injection that helped a lot. It took away the inflammation.
We are not well off financially, and in fact closer to poverty. We live day by day and week by week. We trust God for our food, drink, business, etc. I am thankful for each game or book idea that I get, and am thankful for each sale and each backer on Kickstarter. It is a process with some light at the end of the tunnel.
I already have photophobia, since ’98, which is sensitivity to bright lights – which gives me migraines sometimes. I also have a heel pain problem, and sensitivities to odours and chemicals. Life is tough. Thankfully, God has given me a positive heart to overcome. I’m not giving up!
Last year I had 2 stents placed for my heart. But through it all, God has been faithful, and I feel and know that he is with me. I read the New Testament and it is filled with the comforting Holy Spirit and with great and precious promises. Faith moves mountains!
Sometimes I feel like Job and say Why Me?! Sometimes I get mad at God. But God has a plan and we need to trust him – not only in the good times. Job was blessed twice as much in the end, and got to see who his friends really were. If you have not read Job, please read it. It is a wonderful and encouraging true story.
“Casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
Blessings in Christ, Randall